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How to Be a Good Friend to Somebody That's Just Given Birth: A Guide to Postpartum Pal Power!

  • May 23, 2023

So, your friend has just given birth, and you're over the moon! But wait, before you rush in with a casserole and a bunch of questions, take a step back. This is a time of immense change for your friend, both physically and emotionally. Here's a fun, informative guide on how to be the best postpartum pal out there.

The Three S’s: Silence, Support, and Space

Becoming a new parent is overwhelming, to say the least. The first rule of being a good friend at this time? Embrace the three S’s: Silence, Support, and Space.

  1. Silence: Yes, you're excited and have a million questions, but hold off on the interrogation. Your friend is likely exhausted and may not have the energy for lengthy conversations. Keep your visits quiet, calm, and peaceful.
  2. Support: Offer your help, but make it specific. Instead of saying, "Let me know if you need anything," say, "I'm going to the store, what can I pick up for you?" or "Can I come over and watch the baby while you take a nap?"
  3. Space: Give your friend some breathing room. This is a time of bonding between the new parents and their baby. Be respectful of their need for private family time.

Food is Your Friend

A well-fed friend is a happy friend. And let's face it, cooking is probably the last thing on a new parent's mind. So, don your apron and whip up some delicious, easy-to-reheat meals. Better yet, organise a meal train among your group of friends. Just remember to ask about any dietary restrictions.

Be a Baby Whisperer (or a Laundry Wizard)

Babies are adorable, yes, but they also come with a surprising amount of chores. Offer to lend a hand with baby-related tasks. Maybe you can change a diaper, give the baby a bath, or rock them to sleep.

If baby tasks aren't your thing, no problem! There are plenty of non-baby chores that your friend will appreciate help with. Offer to do a load of laundry, wash dishes, or take out the trash. Trust us, they'll love you for it.

Listen, Don’t Lecture

Every new parent is bombarded with advice, whether they ask for it or not. Unless your friend specifically asks for your opinion, it's best to keep your parenting tips to yourself.

Instead, be a good listener. Let them share their joys, their worries, their frustrations. Validate their feelings and reassure them that they're doing a great job.

Don't Forget to Pamper the Parents

New parents, especially mums, can often feel like they've lost themselves in the whirlwind of parenthood. A little pampering can go a long way in reminding them that they're not just parents, but individuals who deserve care and attention.

Bring your friend a self-care package, with items like comfy pyjamas, skin-care products, or their favourite snacks. Or, give them a gift card for a massage or a restaurant they love.

Keep the Friendship Flame Alive

While your friend's new role as a parent is a big part of their life, it's not their entire identity. Keep your friendship strong by maintaining interest in their non-parenting life. Talk about shared interests, funny memories, or the latest book you've read.

Remember, your friend still values your relationship and the shared experiences that made you friends in the first place.

Conclusion

Being a supportive friend to a new parent might seem challenging, but it's also incredibly rewarding.

Read More

Night Sweats and Waking Up Drenched in Pregnancy

Night Sweats and Waking Up Drenched in Pregnancy

Night sweats during pregnancy are caused by hormonal fluctuations affecting your body's temperature regulation, increased blood volume, and a heightened metabolic rate. While waking up drenched and flushed can be uncomfortable, ordinary hormonal sweating is harmless and settles once your body cools down.

Distinguishing between a hormonal flush and a fever is important:

  • Hormonal Flushing: You feel hot and sweaty in waves without a raised body temperature or shivering chills.

  • Fever or Infection: A temperature reading of 38°C or higher, shaking chills, a cough, painful urination, or a rash requires prompt medical attention. Keep a thermometer on your bedside table so you can verify your temperature immediately if you wake up feeling hot.

Heartburn That Only Turns Up When You Lie Down

Heartburn That Only Turns Up When You Lie Down

Pregnancy heartburn affects roughly 8 in 10 women, driven by progesterone relaxing the stomach valve and a growing uterus crowding your abdomen. Lying flat removes the natural effect of gravity, allowing stomach acid to travel straight up your esophagus at bedtime.

To manage night-time reflux effectively, finish your last meal two to three hours before going to bed and eat smaller, lighter portions throughout the day rather than heavy dinners. When settling down for sleep, lie on your left side to keep your stomach below the esophageal valve, and elevate your entire upper torso by 10 to 15 cm using a mattress wedge rather than just stacking pillows under your head. Sip liquids between meals instead of drinking large volumes with food.

Always consult your midwife, GP, or pharmacist before starting any over-the-counter heartburn medication. If you are taking antacids, space them at least two hours apart from your prenatal iron and folic acid supplements so they do not block nutrient absorption. Contact your healthcare team immediately if you experience severe abdominal pain, difficulty swallowing, or if upper stomach pain occurs alongside headaches, vision changes, or sudden swelling.

Snoring in Pregnancy: What's Normal and What's Worth Mentioning

Snoring in Pregnancy: What's Normal and What's Worth Mentioning

New onset snoring in late pregnancy is very common, usually triggered by hormone-induced nasal congestion, increased blood volume, and relaxed throat muscles narrowing your airways. While occasional mild snoring is harmless, frequent loud snoring, choking or gasping for air, and waking up with headaches or severe daytime exhaustion can indicate obstructive sleep apnea.

Because habitual pregnancy snoring is linked to higher blood pressure and pre-eclampsia, you should always report new snoring to your midwife or GP so they can check your blood pressure and evaluate you for a sleep study. To manage mild congestion-driven snoring at home, sleep on your side, elevate your head and torso slightly, use plain saline nasal sprays, and avoid medicated decongestant sprays unless prescribed.

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